A Match › First date ideas that take the pressure off
First date ideas that take the pressure off
A good first date is short, easy to leave and gives you something to do besides stare at each other. Here are ideas that work for most people and most budgets.
The golden rules
- Keep it public. Choose somewhere with other people around.
- Keep it short. One to two hours. You can always extend it.
- Make your own way. Arrive and leave on your own.
- Pick somewhere you can talk. Loud clubs make conversation hard.
See our online dating safety guide for the full checklist.
Easy, low-cost ideas
- Coffee or a walk. A park, a canal path, a seafront or a market. Walking side by side makes conversation easier for nervous people.
- A free gallery or museum. Many UK city and local museums are free. You get things to talk about and a natural end point.
- A farmers' market or street food. Wander, share something and see what you both like.
- A bookshop and a hot drink. Show each other your favourites.
A little more effort
- Pub with food or a quiz night. A team activity helps if you are shy, though noisy quiz nights can limit chat.
- Mini golf, bowling or an arcade. A bit of friendly competition breaks the ice.
- A class. A pottery, cooking or dance taster session works well, although check it is not too long for a first meet.
- Comedy night. Shared laughs, but not much chat during the show, so add a drink before or after.
Ideas to skip for a first meeting
- Long dinners at expensive restaurants. It is harder to leave early.
- Cinema. You will sit silent for two hours.
- Anywhere private, such as your home, theirs or a hotel.
- Day trips that need a lift or a long journey.
Paying
There is no fixed rule. Many people split the bill, or take turns, or one person pays for the first drink and the other pays for the next. Say what you prefer in a friendly way. If you are on a budget, choose a free or cheap plan and be open about it.
Managing nerves
Everyone is a bit nervous. Arrive a few minutes early, have a couple of questions in mind, and remember that the other person wants it to go well too. Ask about their week, their weekend plans or something from their profile. Our first message tips have ideas for what to talk about.
Ending the date
If it went well, say so: "I had a lovely time. I'd like to see you again." If it did not, a kind and honest message later is better than silence. You do not need to give a long reason. Tell a friend you are home safe.
Matching the date to the person
Think about what you learned in your messages. If they love food, suggest a street-food market. If they talked about their dog, a walk in a park is perfect (take care to check the dog is happy with new people first). If they are shy, choose something with built-in conversation, such as a gallery. Showing you listened is the best first-date skill.
Plan B
The UK weather rarely cooperates. Pick an outdoor idea with an indoor back-up nearby, such as a seafront walk with a cafe at the end. Check opening times before you travel and book ahead if a venue is busy.
Accessibility
If you or your date have mobility needs, ask early about step-free access, seating and toilets. A quick, kind question in the days before is far better than discovering a problem on the day.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a first date last?
One to two hours is a good length. It is long enough to get a feel for someone and short enough to leave easily.
Who pays on a first date?
There is no rule. Splitting or taking turns is common. Agree something that feels fair to you both.
Where is a safe place for a first date?
A public place with other people around, such as a cafe, a pub with food or a gallery, that you travel to and from yourself.