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How to spot a romance scam

Romance fraud happens when someone pretends to want a relationship in order to get your money. The stories vary, but the pattern is very consistent.

Last updated 2 November 2026

How a romance scam usually runs

Romance fraud is when criminals use fake profiles to build trust and then ask for money. City of London Police, which leads on fraud nationally, reported that romance fraud cost victims over £106 million in a year. The stories vary, but they often follow these stages:

1. Contact. A friendly, attractive profile messages you, or responds quickly when you message them.
2. Grooming. Intense, constant attention. They say they love you early and call you by pet names.
3. Moving off the platform. They suggest chatting on email or a messaging app, away from the dating service's safety tools.
4. A problem. They cannot meet or video call. Then a crisis appears: a sick relative, a stuck shipment, a customs bill, a business deal.
5. The ask. They request money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or a bank transfer. Sometimes they ask you to receive money for them, which can make you part of a money-laundering scheme.

Warning signs

• They say they are abroad, in the military, on an oil rig or working overseas.
• They never video call or always have a reason not to.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret.
• Their story changes or does not add up.
• They ask for money or help with money, even small amounts at first.
• You feel rushed or guilty for hesitating.
• They send a link for an "investment" they are making money from.

Protecting yourself

Do not send money to anyone you have not met in person. Do not share bank details or passwords. Run their photos through a reverse image search such as Google image search or TinEye to see whether they appear elsewhere, and ask for a live video call. If you have shared personal or financial details, check your credit file for anything unusual. If you are told to keep it secret, ask yourself why. A real partner is happy for your friends and family to know about them.

Talk to someone you trust. Fraudsters rely on isolation. A friend can often see what you cannot, because they are not caught up in the emotion.

If you have already sent money

Do not feel embarrassed. These scams are run by organised criminals and catch intelligent, careful people. Take these steps:

• Stop contact and do not send any more money, even if threatened.
• Contact your bank straight away using the number on your card. Ask about recovering payments.
• Keep messages, profile details and payment records.
• In England and Wales, report it to Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at actionfraud.police.uk. In Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101.
• Report the profile to the dating service so they can remove it.

Be wary of anyone who contacts you offering to recover your lost money for a fee. Police warn that fraudsters may contact you again offering to recover your money. Hang up on anyone who does.

Blackmail and intimate images

If someone threatens to share private images unless you pay, stop contact, do not pay and report it to the police. Paying rarely ends it. Support is available, and you are not to blame.

More help

Our online dating safety page covers everyday precautions, and dating in later life looks at risks that affect older daters in particular. This is general information, not legal advice.

Questions to ask yourself

• Have I met this person, or at least seen them on a live video call?
• Would I be comfortable telling my best friend everything they have told me?
• Is anything about this relationship moving faster than it should?
• If a stranger asked me for this money, would I give it?

If you hesitate on any of these, pause the conversation and talk to someone you trust. A real relationship can survive a few days of caution. A scam usually cannot.

Spotted a mistake or have a question? Get in touch.